Saturday, January 1, 2011

Last year I began my "Journey to Health" blog thinking it would be about my weight loss journey. I never would have guessed it would have included my journey to mental health and stability. I believed I would share my struggles regarding diet and exercise. I never would have chosen this change in direction. There are many times when I am embarrassed to share my weaknesses. I'm still deathly afraid of people's opinions. What if someone doesn't like what I have to say? What if they reject me because of it? Yet, at the same time I have not much left to lose. At any time if you have any questions feel free to bring them on. I'd rather be transparent and free to tell the truth than be afraid and hiding from it.

As for my weight loss not too much has changed. It has been frustrating but at least I have maintained my weight. Some clothes are looser than they were last year. Some days I have more stamina. Yet, overall, I haven't even thought of giving up which is surprising. I'm still trying to exercise but I admit I'd rather watch TV instead!

For this next year I predict that the current God whisper is "balance". I never realized how much of an extremist I am. I live on both sides of the scale. It doesn't matter if I'm referring to my mood, weight, exercise, thought life, Bible reading or any other basic life decision. For example, I'm either cleaning like crazy and irritated when I can't finish or I just sit and stare at the piles. I've gone weeks exercising every day only to go weeks without even thinking about it. There are times when I can't get enough of my Bible and there are other times when I can't even find it. Living on the extremes is exhausting! It wears me out physically, mentally and emotionally. So I think God is trying to get my attention by using the recent events of my life. Speaking to my heart through various people and situations that I need "balance". Even my WiiFit instructor tells me the same thing! How do I achieve it though? I honestly have no idea! I guess it is a learning process just like anything else. One step, one moment, even one breath at a time!